/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

I always clean off my plate no matter how full I am.

808 upvotes

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I scoffed at their name-calling for it caused me no harm.

509 upvotes

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"No son of mine will ever wear makeup, and take off that damned wig!" demanded the irate father.

387 upvotes

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[OCT2020] Funerals are great because of all the grieving ladies looking for comfort.

351 upvotes

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Entering the bedroom, my father was pleased to see my brother and I were already on our knees.

344 upvotes

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While waiting for my roommate to return, I had a conversation with his visiting family about the importance of proper grammar in today's world.

344 upvotes

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"You'll really be able to take me places if I sign with you, Miss Handbasket?" asked Nick, the naïve young artist.

306 upvotes

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Oh God, it's the Devil again.

285 upvotes

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Standing on the step, I was conveyed to the upper floor of the mall in practically no time at all.

263 upvotes

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It measured 10 inches when fully erect, just like I told her.

244 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I always clean off my plate no matter how full I am.	808
I scoffed at their name-calling for it caused me no harm.	509
"No son of mine will ever wear makeup, and take off that damned wig!" demanded the irate father.	387
[OCT2020] Funerals are great because of all the grieving ladies looking for comfort.	351
Entering the bedroom, my father was pleased to see my brother and I were already on our knees.	344
While waiting for my roommate to return, I had a conversation with his visiting family about the importance of proper grammar in today's world.	344
"You'll really be able to take me places if I sign with you, Miss Handbasket?" asked Nick, the naïve young artist.	306
Oh God, it's the Devil again.	285
Standing on the step, I was conveyed to the upper floor of the mall in practically no time at all.	263
It measured 10 inches when fully erect, just like I told her.	244