/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

"No, I said I enjoy self-dePREcating humor."

102 upvotes

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Dropping me off at the doors on the first day of school, my mother did the unthinkable and loudly proclaimed, "Love you, bun-bun", before driving away.

101 upvotes

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"Ever since this sickness started, my daughter has been in and out of hospitals every day," said the man at the bar.

96 upvotes

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I had sunk to a new low.

96 upvotes

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Although my parents asked if I wanted an Xbox or PlayStation, they bought me a Nintendo console instead.

95 upvotes

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When I told him I'd sell my soul for it, Santa said, "You want the OTHER guy in red."

93 upvotes

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After the Animal Revolution, humanity became ruled by their previously domesticated pets.

93 upvotes

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How could a 24-inch wave of water move cars?

92 upvotes

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I always believed in shooting for the moon because even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.

92 upvotes

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Instead of wasting money on peasants by building an expensive guillotine, the alternative was hanging by piano wire with weights attached to their feet.

90 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"No, I said I enjoy self-dePREcating humor."	102
Dropping me off at the doors on the first day of school, my mother did the unthinkable and loudly proclaimed, "Love you, bun-bun", before driving away.	101
"Ever since this sickness started, my daughter has been in and out of hospitals every day," said the man at the bar.	96
I had sunk to a new low.	96
Although my parents asked if I wanted an Xbox or PlayStation, they bought me a Nintendo console instead.	95
When I told him I'd sell my soul for it, Santa said, "You want the OTHER guy in red."	93
After the Animal Revolution, humanity became ruled by their previously domesticated pets.	93
How could a 24-inch wave of water move cars?	92
I always believed in shooting for the moon because even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.	92
Instead of wasting money on peasants by building an expensive guillotine, the alternative was hanging by piano wire with weights attached to their feet.	90