/u/Outside_Normal's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

I asked my friend what he was doing standing there with one foot bare, staring up in the air.

89 upvotes

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Our intentionally loud and ugly love-making session forced the ghosts haunting our house to flee and never return.

88 upvotes

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My wife and her doppelganger gave two completely different answers.

85 upvotes

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After I slipped and fell flat on my rear you'd expect the people would laugh and jeer.

83 upvotes

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A priest, a Rabbi and a Minster walk into a bar.

82 upvotes

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"You're kidding!" I exclaimed when I discovered the livestock could talk.

82 upvotes

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The worst part of this terrible day wasn't having a minor meltdown after locking my keys in the car.

79 upvotes

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I sprinted straight towards the bear with the timber wolf hot on my heels.

77 upvotes

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My boyfriend started using food-based terms of endearment such as "cupcake", "sweetie pie" and "honey bun".

75 upvotes

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When I asked what the odds were, my friend joked "1, 3, 5, 7."

73 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I asked my friend what he was doing standing there with one foot bare, staring up in the air.	89
Our intentionally loud and ugly love-making session forced the ghosts haunting our house to flee and never return.	88
My wife and her doppelganger gave two completely different answers.	85
After I slipped and fell flat on my rear you'd expect the people would laugh and jeer.	83
A priest, a Rabbi and a Minster walk into a bar.	82
"You're kidding!" I exclaimed when I discovered the livestock could talk.	82
The worst part of this terrible day wasn't having a minor meltdown after locking my keys in the car.	79
I sprinted straight towards the bear with the timber wolf hot on my heels.	77
My boyfriend started using food-based terms of endearment such as "cupcake", "sweetie pie" and "honey bun".	75
When I asked what the odds were, my friend joked "1, 3, 5, 7."	73