/u/Outside_Normal's posts

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Despite having an affinity for it, I left my job as a chimney sweep.

198 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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In the smoke-filled hallway I passed my baby off to the firefighter saying I had to go back for my wife.

194 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I gave the annual toast to the fallen, the forgotten and those taken by time.

194 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness

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[NOV2020] Black Friday is a prime example of how savage and uncivilized the human race can be.

191 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Everyone who queued up was flexing their hands, cracking their knuckles, and laughing like this was some kind of joke.

190 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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David Nathaniel Raines was such a well-behaved little boy when he visited his mother at the hospital that the nurses delighted in answering his constant queries.

189 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness

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I surrounded myself with Granny Smith, Red Prince and Golden Delicious, but it was no use.

186 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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My immortal life is not worth living now that I've lost my one true love.

183 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness

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"...then the CEO shook my hand saying, 'congratulations on your promotion, Paul' and walked away."

181 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Someone in the crowded cafeteria cried out "Duck, soup!"

179 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Title	Upvotes	Subreddit	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Despite having an affinity for it, I left my job as a chimney sweep.	198	TwoSentenceComedy
In the smoke-filled hallway I passed my baby off to the firefighter saying I had to go back for my wife.	194	TwoSentenceHorror
I gave the annual toast to the fallen, the forgotten and those taken by time.	194	TwoSentenceSadness
[NOV2020] Black Friday is a prime example of how savage and uncivilized the human race can be.	191	TwoSentenceComedy
Everyone who queued up was flexing their hands, cracking their knuckles, and laughing like this was some kind of joke.	190	TwoSentenceComedy
David Nathaniel Raines was such a well-behaved little boy when he visited his mother at the hospital that the nurses delighted in answering his constant queries.	189	TwoSentenceSadness
I surrounded myself with Granny Smith, Red Prince and Golden Delicious, but it was no use.	186	TwoSentenceComedy
My immortal life is not worth living now that I've lost my one true love.	183	TwoSentenceSadness
"...then the CEO shook my hand saying, 'congratulations on your promotion, Paul' and walked away."	181	TwoSentenceComedy
Someone in the crowded cafeteria cried out "Duck, soup!"	179	TwoSentenceComedy