/u/Ray_Dillinger's posts
[WP] 'Mom, I found a dragon!' 'That's nice sweetie, now wash up for dinner.' 'Can I keep him?' 'Sure, ask your father to help you with a terrarium.' 'Awesome!' <runs off> 'Hm! At least it's not Minecraft.' ... 'Honey, did you see this? It's about six inches long and it's got a pile of marbles...'
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[WP]Even when riddled by machine gun fire, an angel's faith never wavers. Holly was holey, but still wholly holy.
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[WP] It turns out being the Horsemen of the Apocalypse doesn't mean you have to be the ones to go out and start the mayhem. The Horsemen have been born, and replaced, dozens of times in the last few centuries, but so far none of them has ever got mad enough to end it all.
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[WP]He entered the elevator at a dead run and in a near panic, and punched the buttons for nine different floors in a complicated sequence. Then gave you a sympathetic look and said, "sorry, but you're going to have to forget this." You've just arrived several miles underground.
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[WP] The funeral custom among spacefarers when one dies out in the void is to launch their ashes home to burn up in reentry over Earth. No one realized until too late that exponential growth means the number of these tiny 'last voyage' capsules now in transit is enough to bury the world completely.
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[WP] You were summoned to a magical land by a wizard, but as soon as you showed up, there was a fight and somebody banished you right back home. Problem is they banished five other beings at the same time, none of them are remotely human, and all of you arrived together in your living room.
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[WP] He'd been flirting with Death for a long time. And she'd finally decided he was kind of cute and wanted to go out with him. Just to see what would happen.
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[WP] These immigrant leprechauns - well, they ain't rich. Y'all ain't gonna trick 'em out of any pots of gold, 'cause they don't have any. What they do have is some absolutely golden pot. They grow the smoothest mellowest bud anywhere. They'll swap you a bag for a jug of moonshine if you want.
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[WP] The only possible outcome in a universe where time travel has been invented is that people changing the past change it in such a way that time travel was never invented. No other version of the timeline is stable. Therefore time travel is logically impossible.
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