/u/ThrowawayBlast's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

After the nurse informed me my baby had died I went across the street to get rip-roaring drunk.

7102 upvotes

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I lied on my resume to get this job.

2987 upvotes

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The nurse gently stroked my bandaged head and informed me all nine of my friends had been safely recovered from the murder cabin.

2943 upvotes

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I thought I could send a message for help to the neighbors by changing the name of my Wifi.

1160 upvotes

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I admit, I was jealous at how my apprentice was so much better at me in digging graves.

752 upvotes

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The time-bending experts in the government hired me for my expertise in ancient languages and dead societies.

532 upvotes

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We knew enough not to scan or copy the 'book of evil' in anyway.

393 upvotes

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Hunting and fishing has kept us alive in this mountain cabin, ever since the apocalypse took the big cities.

279 upvotes

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I was off my head on pain medicine so I let the hospital chaplain continue to assume I was an employee.

242 upvotes

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The cops weren't interested in me after the first decapitation video showed up on Youtube.

230 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
After the nurse informed me my baby had died I went across the street to get rip-roaring drunk.	7102
I lied on my resume to get this job.	2987
The nurse gently stroked my bandaged head and informed me all nine of my friends had been safely recovered from the murder cabin.	2943
I thought I could send a message for help to the neighbors by changing the name of my Wifi.	1160
I admit, I was jealous at how my apprentice was so much better at me in digging graves.	752
The time-bending experts in the government hired me for my expertise in ancient languages and dead societies.	532
We knew enough not to scan or copy the 'book of evil' in anyway.	393
Hunting and fishing has kept us alive in this mountain cabin, ever since the apocalypse took the big cities.	279
I was off my head on pain medicine so I let the hospital chaplain continue to assume I was an employee.	242
The cops weren't interested in me after the first decapitation video showed up on Youtube.	230