/u/WTFwhatthehell's posts
[WP]The demonology professor spoke to the class "and if you must sell your soul to a demon, at least bother to summon two and make them bid up the price."
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[WP] "But I'm your direct descendant! Which means I'm fated to defeat you!" "Kid, I'm ten thousand years old. Everyone in the kingdom is my direct descendant. You're nothing special."
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[WP] "Wait... so your superhero secret identity is as an entertainer dressed up as... yourself. With a cheap costume that you wear over your real costume"
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[WP] All was blood and terror shielding your child from the raiders with your body. You awake surrounded by the undead, a sinister lich radiating evil standing above you. The lich speaks. "Mom! It worked! It took 60 years but I've got you back!"
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[WP] "Magic dictates that a curse must have a fulfillable exit condition, the simpler the conditions, the more powerful." That's where I come in. 'True loves kiss'? Just vague enough! Got just the thing! I get the puppy from my bag and hold it near the face of the sleeping princess. "Kisses!"
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[EU] The cosmos is filled with dark and uncaring gods that would trample humanity underfoot without noticing us.... but Cthulhu is actually more like a teenager on a gap year working with the Cosmic Wildlife Preservation Fund.
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[EU] It's purge night in the San Francisco Bay Area. Everything is legal. You're finally free to enact your plans. You've even hired a team to help you..... it's time to convert your house into a giant apartment block before sunrise.
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[WP] The galactic community settled conflicts not with war but rather with computer simulations. But they've never before encountered a race with the equivilent of the Speedrun community...
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[WP] Humans are unique in the galaxy. Every other sentient species discovered Slood some time before they discovered fire, typically only slightly after they discovered water. But humans seem to have a bizare cognitive blind spot around Slood. Even if you wave it in their face.
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