/u/Zaibach_Dragonslayer's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

[SEP2020] "Don't even try and ask me to take you to the police station so you can tell them who the serial murderer is!"

5 upvotes

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My wife and I swore off eating in the bedroom, but we’re being woken up by sounds of chewing and slurping.

4 upvotes

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I've got irrefutable proof that alien life exists, but damn it if I can't show it to you.

4 upvotes

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Eager to avoid hostilities during our First Contact, the Grey Men requested volunteers from humanity's best and brightest, to serve on a Galactic Council promoting peace and well-being for all.

3 upvotes

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“[SEP2020] Don’t even try and give hickeys to girls on first dates”

3 upvotes

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[AUGUST2020] "You're not me, you don't know what I'd done to earn this facial scar!"

2 upvotes

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[SEP2020] "Don't even try and start with the 'Don't shoot him, shoot me' nonsense," yelled my mother as she alternated the aim of her firearm between the two of me.

1 upvotes

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After making my purchase - deluxe burger w/ fries and soda -- from a drive-thru-only fast food joint that just opened, I found a partially-severed finger and went back to complain.

1 upvotes

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God solemnly pulled some currency out of his wallet and handed it to Mother Nature, paying off their bet.

1 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
[SEP2020] "Don't even try and ask me to take you to the police station so you can tell them who the serial murderer is!"	5
My wife and I swore off eating in the bedroom, but we’re being woken up by sounds of chewing and slurping.	4
I've got irrefutable proof that alien life exists, but damn it if I can't show it to you.	4
Eager to avoid hostilities during our First Contact, the Grey Men requested volunteers from humanity's best and brightest, to serve on a Galactic Council promoting peace and well-being for all.	3
“[SEP2020] Don’t even try and give hickeys to girls on first dates”	3
[AUGUST2020] "You're not me, you don't know what I'd done to earn this facial scar!"	2
[SEP2020] "Don't even try and start with the 'Don't shoot him, shoot me' nonsense," yelled my mother as she alternated the aim of her firearm between the two of me.	1
After making my purchase - deluxe burger w/ fries and soda -- from a drive-thru-only fast food joint that just opened, I found a partially-severed finger and went back to complain.	1
God solemnly pulled some currency out of his wallet and handed it to Mother Nature, paying off their bet.	1