/u/apathiest58's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I was worried when my mate would disappear every new moon, only to return in a day or two, his eyes full of guilt and his hair full of that terrible scent.

4109 upvotes

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The probing pin pricks on my skin slowly roused me and, sleepily, I wondered, "after so many millennia, is it finally time for war again?"

2801 upvotes

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The humanoid robot rebels burst into our office, swearing to kill every human they found.

2651 upvotes

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My friend told me, "don't get high on pills, get high on life!"

1080 upvotes

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I was careful to teach my daughter how to stay safe if she had to be out at night.

665 upvotes

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Thinking I'd avoid any chance of going to hell when I die, I found a spell that would allow my ghost to inhabit any place I'd ever lived or visited in my life, but only those places.

566 upvotes

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We used to laugh at our crazy neighbor, who believed all birds are robots.

510 upvotes

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In the days before the invasion, we amused ourselves by walking among them in broad daylight, wearing shirts that said, "We're aliens! And we're about to kill you all!"

422 upvotes

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At first I was delighted when the energy drink I'd invented worked even better than I'd dreamed.

318 upvotes

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Chelsea thought her geeky neighbor was a touch creepy, but she couldn't resist when he offered to show her history in the time machine he'd invented.

255 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I was worried when my mate would disappear every new moon, only to return in a day or two, his eyes full of guilt and his hair full of that terrible scent.	4109
The probing pin pricks on my skin slowly roused me and, sleepily, I wondered, "after so many millennia, is it finally time for war again?"	2801
The humanoid robot rebels burst into our office, swearing to kill every human they found.	2651
My friend told me, "don't get high on pills, get high on life!"	1080
I was careful to teach my daughter how to stay safe if she had to be out at night.	665
Thinking I'd avoid any chance of going to hell when I die, I found a spell that would allow my ghost to inhabit any place I'd ever lived or visited in my life, but only those places.	566
We used to laugh at our crazy neighbor, who believed all birds are robots.	510
In the days before the invasion, we amused ourselves by walking among them in broad daylight, wearing shirts that said, "We're aliens! And we're about to kill you all!"	422
At first I was delighted when the energy drink I'd invented worked even better than I'd dreamed.	318
Chelsea thought her geeky neighbor was a touch creepy, but she couldn't resist when he offered to show her history in the time machine he'd invented.	255