/u/baltinerdist's posts
[WP] “It’s 6 o’clock, I used to be Terry Anderson, and you’re watching KZMB Eyewitness News, the most trusted source for news since the zombie apocalypse. Tonight’s top stories…”
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[WP] You are an assassin who wields a magical blade which whispers to you in the dark the secrets of the person who shall die next at your hand. You are greatly feared as secrets are easily turned against your victims. This works well for you until those secrets become awfully familiar...
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[WP] You’re the new propaganda minister for the evil empire and you decide the best way to improve their image is through a new website similar to Buzzfeed. “What does your favorite ice cream flavor say about your allegiance to the Supreme One?” and so forth.
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[WP] You're pretty sure a woman in your neighborhood has been replaced by an alien or robot or some other doppelganger wearing her as a disguise. But everyone's decided to be okay with it because the original was the president of your HOA and a real pain.
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[WP] The bells toll as the town criers spread the news across the realm: “The Burger King lies cold in the ground, behold the Dairy Queen rises!”
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[WP] You're the unsuspecting main character in a Truman Show-like scripted reality show of your life. Everything has been perfectly believable and well-written until now because the WGA has gone on strike.
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[WP] You know how God works in mysterious ways? Well, you just got a job in the Department of Mysterious Ways working for him.
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[WP] The priests at the temple weren't exactly sure how to proceed. In 932 years performing the annual ritual, the ancient one hadn't actually ever appeared in person. It was supposed to be, you know, a ceremonial thing. Well, not until today.
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