/u/ceo_of_the_apes's posts in /r/TwoSentenceSadness

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

As I finally finished my masterwork, my magnum opus, my partner came in to tell me:

1450 upvotes

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I change my daughter's intravenous bag because she keeps allowing the doctors to poison her to death!

1047 upvotes

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I was tired of her son bullying me, I punched him in the face for all the broken bones and scars I had, hoping it would end my pains.

581 upvotes

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I wonder what they used to make this pencil, the graphite is so smooth and loving, like a brother!

509 upvotes

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"Selling 4ft tall coffin"

296 upvotes

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My cat was taken away for...

161 upvotes

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My son, struggling in school, looked up to me and asked why I help him so much.

134 upvotes

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Jerry bought a disreputable toaster.

124 upvotes

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I spilled water, and mopped it up calmly.

123 upvotes

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"It's just laxatives... Try it :)"

118 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
As I finally finished my masterwork, my magnum opus, my partner came in to tell me:	1450
I change my daughter's intravenous bag because she keeps allowing the doctors to poison her to death!	1047
I was tired of her son bullying me, I punched him in the face for all the broken bones and scars I had, hoping it would end my pains.	581
I wonder what they used to make this pencil, the graphite is so smooth and loving, like a brother!	509
"Selling 4ft tall coffin"	296
My cat was taken away for...	161
My son, struggling in school, looked up to me and asked why I help him so much.	134
Jerry bought a disreputable toaster.	124
I spilled water, and mopped it up calmly.	123
"It's just laxatives... Try it :)"	118