/u/cindybubbles's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Having lost custody of my kids to my vindictive ex, I knew that there was only one way to get them back.

8 upvotes

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I lost my fucking car.

8 upvotes

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As I was drawing up the sheriff’s will, he asked me to tell his deputy to collect all the townspeople’s guns and bury them with the sheriff when he dies.

8 upvotes

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When I saw my best friend together with my wife, I treated them both to ham sandwiches on rye.

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[OCT2020] Funerals are great, except when slackers get caught abusing their state-mandated bereavement leaves.

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My chest tightened so much that I thought that I was going to die from a heart attack.

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Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

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My parents never gave me The Talk when I was a kid. NSFW

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“You’re not leaving this table until you eat every bite of your dinner!” threatened my mom.

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I commented to my friend about how the bride and groom look just like Beauty and the Beast.

7 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Having lost custody of my kids to my vindictive ex, I knew that there was only one way to get them back.	8
I lost my fucking car.	8
As I was drawing up the sheriff’s will, he asked me to tell his deputy to collect all the townspeople’s guns and bury them with the sheriff when he dies.	8
When I saw my best friend together with my wife, I treated them both to ham sandwiches on rye.	8
[OCT2020] Funerals are great, except when slackers get caught abusing their state-mandated bereavement leaves.	8
My chest tightened so much that I thought that I was going to die from a heart attack.	8
Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.	8
My parents never gave me The Talk when I was a kid. NSFW	8
“You’re not leaving this table until you eat every bite of your dinner!” threatened my mom.	8
I commented to my friend about how the bride and groom look just like Beauty and the Beast.	7