/u/derf_vader's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

I swear to God I had cornered an honest to goodness real-life wee Leprechaun and was about to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

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As the buckshot ripped through the zombie I prayed that would be the end up of it

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I know they itch like crazy, honey, but you shouldn't rub or scratch your eyes.

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"Voy a matar como a un puto cerdo."

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It's like a forest with thousands of trees spreading millions of roots and branches to life in a second.

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"When they cut off his tail, I want you to have the first bite," my wife said, referring to our unborn son.

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"Honey, the neighbors' dog wandered into our yard again today."

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When I volunteered to help search for the missing teen, in the back of my mind I was prepared for the worst.

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[DEC23] "What has been opened may never be closed again," the old woman's curse echoed in my head.

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With food scarce, and my family starving we tucked our youngest in with bedtime prayers we have never said before."Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts...."

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I swear to God I had cornered an honest to goodness real-life wee Leprechaun and was about to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.	22
As the buckshot ripped through the zombie I prayed that would be the end up of it	22
I know they itch like crazy, honey, but you shouldn't rub or scratch your eyes.	22
"Voy a matar como a un puto cerdo."	22
It's like a forest with thousands of trees spreading millions of roots and branches to life in a second.	22
"When they cut off his tail, I want you to have the first bite," my wife said, referring to our unborn son.	21
"Honey, the neighbors' dog wandered into our yard again today."	21
When I volunteered to help search for the missing teen, in the back of my mind I was prepared for the worst.	21
[DEC23] "What has been opened may never be closed again," the old woman's curse echoed in my head.	21
With food scarce, and my family starving we tucked our youngest in with bedtime prayers we have never said before."Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts...."	21