/u/froopynooples's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Really, I do try to avoid looking at my phone when driving as much as possible, and I swear I only took my eyes off the road for a second.

38 upvotes

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Did you know that Country singers have a higher chance of being murdered/dying under mysterious circumstances than any other musical artist per capita?

35 upvotes

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After seeing how delicately the female chimp was able to peel a banana with its feet, the zookeeper couldn't quell his giddiness as he crept into the enclosure that night.

35 upvotes

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First she said, "I love you, Daddy..." and it made me smile.

35 upvotes

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I put a little piece of myself into every gourmet dish I prepare for my customers.

31 upvotes

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"If you want to escape, it's really quite simple: the pressure plate connected to the locking mechanism is calibrated to the exact weight of your wife's unborn child."

28 upvotes

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As he stroked himself before me, I spread my legs for him and shuddered with anticipation.

27 upvotes

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I'm very particular about checking my doors at night to make sure they are all locked.

23 upvotes

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I've never had a date fall asleep on me before, I'd better drive her home.

21 upvotes

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I shuddered, my breath catching in my throat as I looked over my daughter's frail body, seeing her cleft lip and missing eye for the very first time.

21 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Really, I do try to avoid looking at my phone when driving as much as possible, and I swear I only took my eyes off the road for a second.	38
Did you know that Country singers have a higher chance of being murdered/dying under mysterious circumstances than any other musical artist per capita?	35
After seeing how delicately the female chimp was able to peel a banana with its feet, the zookeeper couldn't quell his giddiness as he crept into the enclosure that night.	35
First she said, "I love you, Daddy..." and it made me smile.	35
I put a little piece of myself into every gourmet dish I prepare for my customers.	31
"If you want to escape, it's really quite simple: the pressure plate connected to the locking mechanism is calibrated to the exact weight of your wife's unborn child."	28
As he stroked himself before me, I spread my legs for him and shuddered with anticipation.	27
I'm very particular about checking my doors at night to make sure they are all locked.	23
I've never had a date fall asleep on me before, I'd better drive her home.	21
I shuddered, my breath catching in my throat as I looked over my daughter's frail body, seeing her cleft lip and missing eye for the very first time.	21