/u/jsran's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Mr. Howe made his fortune inventing the iButcher, a robot able to process a carcass and deliver the best cuts of steak to your door within a 30-minute timeframe.

37 upvotes

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It turns out the Ouija board functions like a torture device for spirits on the other side.

37 upvotes

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My hands are full of groceries when I walk into the biggest spiderweb of my life.

35 upvotes

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Squiggles turns ten today!

32 upvotes

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Past generations dreaded the day their perfect children would turn into hormonal teenagers.

32 upvotes

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The maniac leaned over to tell the woman seated beside him that he was a compulsive slasher and HAD to kill.

31 upvotes

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My husband loves how easily I startle, so he is always playing pranks and popping up out of nowhere just to get a good yelp out of me.

27 upvotes

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God, please help me with my weight-loss goals.

27 upvotes

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He was so busy enjoying his ice cream cone he didn’t bother to look up when his mom took his hand.

27 upvotes

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I really should have read the sex robot’s recall notice:

26 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Mr. Howe made his fortune inventing the iButcher, a robot able to process a carcass and deliver the best cuts of steak to your door within a 30-minute timeframe.	37
It turns out the Ouija board functions like a torture device for spirits on the other side.	37
My hands are full of groceries when I walk into the biggest spiderweb of my life.	35
Squiggles turns ten today!	32
Past generations dreaded the day their perfect children would turn into hormonal teenagers.	32
The maniac leaned over to tell the woman seated beside him that he was a compulsive slasher and HAD to kill.	31
My husband loves how easily I startle, so he is always playing pranks and popping up out of nowhere just to get a good yelp out of me.	27
God, please help me with my weight-loss goals.	27
He was so busy enjoying his ice cream cone he didn’t bother to look up when his mom took his hand.	27
I really should have read the sex robot’s recall notice:	26