/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] After the Great Peace, the United Nations bans all human made weapons. Militaries worldwide instead turn to animals. You are an admiral in the navy, and today is the first day of the kraken sea trials.
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[WP] "Wait wait wait... where are the sheilas again?" "Keep up mate! Two sheilas at a barbie have ten ciggies, a couple of coldies, and an avo sanger each. Now if some other yobbo in budgie smugglers wants to bum a durry..." You sigh. Australian sphinxes are the worst.
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[WP] Magic is real, but—like gravity—it only operates on a large scale. After casting their spells, the hero and villain have been sitting around awkwardly for a few weeks waiting for something to happen.
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[WP] “How did you know which one was the real prophecy??” The villain asked, as he lay dying. “It was easy,” you reply. “None of the fake ones involved teenagers.”
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[WP] A professor creates a fiendishly difficult puzzle to act as an entrance exam to their class, so only the most intelligent students can get in. Ten years later, no one has made it into the class—nor seen the professor.
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[WP] “Uhhh… ladies and gentlemen, this is your uh… captain speaking… If there’s a biologist on board, please make yourself know to a flight attendant immediately. We uh… we have a little problem here.”
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[WP] “Do you know why I pulled you over Mr Jones?” “Well I might have been going a bit fast officer…” “No, it’s not that. There’s a dragon in your back seat and it’s not wearing a seat belt.”
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[WP] Modern technology has made summoning demons quite safe. Having one around can be pretty useful too—to scare birds away from crops, as part of your Halloween decorations, or even just to entertain the kids while you duck out to the shops.
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[WP] When you were a child, a powerful wizard told you that you were destined to save the world. He took you with him to “train” you, but it’s now been 30 years and since all you’ve done in that time is keep his house clean, you’re starting to question his motives.
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