/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] You work as a programmer for a highly classified government computer system. One day you notice your code can affect reality around you. You decide to see what would happen if you program an infinite loop.
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[SP] There’s a reason it’s called the “dark side” of the moon, and it has nothing to do with the position of the sun.
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[WP] One day, you save the life of a zombie. In return, the zombie vows to protect you from any threat. Unfortunately the zombie takes a very broad view of “threat”, as it tries to protect you from your final math exam.
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[WP] Shortly after the invention of the telephone, an evil witch cursed the human race to come to an end if telemarketers are exterminated. It’s now 2050, and you work in a secretive underground call centre, the last of its kind, determined to save all of humanity.
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[WP] Your grandpa is convinced that gnomes are stealing his tomatoes. You watch over the garden with him one night, and shortly after he falls asleep, a gnome appears. You gasp, and the gnome turns towards you, narrows its gaze, and starts walking menacingly towards you.
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[WP] You drift into consciousness. “…no idea what it even is Doctor?” “I think it’s a kidney, but it’s not supposed to be that colour? Let’s remove it just to be safe.” “Wait that’s just my…” you begin, before passing out again.
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[WP] The first humans on Mars are surprised to find what looks like a recording studio. Inside is a set of the moon, with a large US flag and some 1960s cameras.
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[WP] You open your eyes to see a hooded figure standing in front of you holding a scythe. The figure points at you, aghast. “Oh shit!” It exclaims. “I must be having a near-human experience!”
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