/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] "I cannot see it on the tip of your tongue," the alien says, forcing your mouth open wider. "I ask again human, where did you leave the keys to my vessel?" "Blrghadafr" You reply, sweating profusely.
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[WP] Shortly after the invention of the telephone, an evil witch cursed the human race to come to an end if telemarketers are exterminated. It’s now 2050, and you work in a secretive underground call centre, the last of its kind, determined to save all of humanity.
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[WP] “Step forward and be judged.” The Angel says menacingly. Nervously, your soul drifts towards the ethereal set of scales. “Oh dear,” says the Angel after a moment. “It says here you started a cooking blog?”l
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[WP] “You forget yourself… I have the power to control sea turtles!” The Hero raises an eyebrow. “Well I do,” says the Villain, defensively. “Is… is that even useful?” Asks the Hero, with a look of skepticism.
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[WP] During the invasion of Earth, the Combined Alliance of Alpha Centauri issue their soldiers with decks of playing cards that show the faces of key Earth targets. As an elite sniper, you have your sights set on taking out the Ace of Spades—a rather large gentleman known as “Santa Claus”.
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[WP] One day you ask Siri for directions to a meeting. Unfortunately your Alexa overhears you, and is offended that you didn’t ask her instead. Now the two are having a heated argument over which one of them actually owns you.
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[WP] After a short career as a model, you’re tired of not being taken seriously. One day you quit to start a new life with your dream job—as a pool cleaner.
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[WP] Aliens plant a doppelgänger in a human family. What they don’t realise is the family are actually doppelgängers from another alien race.
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[WP] You teach yourself to lucid dream. One night, deep within a world of your own making, you see a stranger running towards you, panting. “Wait!” They gasp, “I have to talk to you about an exciting opportunity for dream insurance!”
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