/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] You’re pretty sure you’re married to a witch, but they try hard to keep it a secret so you haven’t said anything. You’re also pretty sure they don’t realise you’re actually an assassin.
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[WP] Attila went to bed in his New York apartment, but when he woke he was in 5th century Romania. Confused, he confronted a local peasant. “I don’t understand what’s happening,” he said, “but I could really use a coffee.” The peasant stared at him. “Milord, begging your pardon, but… what’s coffee?”
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[WP] Despite the "sexy vampire" stereotype pushed by the media, humans now understand the vampire virus can only be transmitted to virgins. Your parents turning into vampires was one awkward way to simultaneously learn about their abstinence, and your adoption.
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[WP] It was meant to be a simple task—collect 12 wildflowers. But after accepting, the hero never came back. It’s now been 12 years since you’ve seen them. But more importantly, it’s been 12 years since you’ve given your wife a Valentine’s present.
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[WP] You always enjoyed clothing, so it wasn’t a surprise when you became a seamstress. What was a surprise was being able to create clothing with real attribute modifiers. You learned about your skill with this the day you accidentally made a +80% speed onesie for your young nephew.
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[WP] At the beach one day, you spy a hot dog floating in the air with a line running from the hot dog back into the ocean. You grab the hot dog and eat it, then feel a strange force pulling you down towards the ocean.
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[WP] In ancient Babylon, there are only three unforgivable crimes: murder, theft, and selling really shitty copper.
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[WP] Those who think the moon landing was faked on Earth have it wrong--it's actually cheaper these days to make movies in space. Signing on as a production assistant to a major film sounded like the dream job, until you learnt what you have to go through to get the director their daily coffee.
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