/u/mercaptopurine's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

"Don't forget! He keeps a spare key below the doormat", I said as I winked conspiratorially at the big, bad wolf.

352 upvotes

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While playing hide and seek with my son, I found the perfect spot in his bedroom closet.

92 upvotes

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The bus was full when I boarded.

37 upvotes

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With growing frustration, I waited and waited for my next patient on Zoom.

34 upvotes

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Water from a toilet bowl really tastes no different from tap water.

31 upvotes

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Faithfully following the doctor's advice, I placed my naked newborn on my chest for some skin to skin contact.

26 upvotes

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Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, eating his Christmas pie.

18 upvotes

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"I want you to rearrange my guts tonight", said my randy highschool girlfriend.

17 upvotes

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Last night, in my dreams, a hookworm spoke to me "I will crawl up your ass when you least expect me to"!

16 upvotes

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After hours of our car getting stuck in the blizzard, I hesitatingly let my husband go out to seek help, leaving me and our infant son behind.

15 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"Don't forget! He keeps a spare key below the doormat", I said as I winked conspiratorially at the big, bad wolf.	352
While playing hide and seek with my son, I found the perfect spot in his bedroom closet.	92
The bus was full when I boarded.	37
With growing frustration, I waited and waited for my next patient on Zoom.	34
Water from a toilet bowl really tastes no different from tap water.	31
Faithfully following the doctor's advice, I placed my naked newborn on my chest for some skin to skin contact.	26
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, eating his Christmas pie.	18
"I want you to rearrange my guts tonight", said my randy highschool girlfriend.	17
Last night, in my dreams, a hookworm spoke to me "I will crawl up your ass when you least expect me to"!	16
After hours of our car getting stuck in the blizzard, I hesitatingly let my husband go out to seek help, leaving me and our infant son behind.	15