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/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

The buzzing outside my tent is deafeningly loud, and I can see their shadows crawling all over the nylon.

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Oh, so it's okay to eat poor INNOCENT baby cows, but it's not okay to eat people (Who are actually the real monsters)???

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I don’t feel comfortable performing surgery on my first ever patient.

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“Please, please don’t rape me!”

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It’s an expensive hobby, but I just added four more parrots to my collection.

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Did I remember to lock the front door?

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I don’t have the courage to tell my wife how much I hate her, not to her face.

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My doctor assumed I’d be depressed when I tested positive for HIV.

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omg I hooked up with a total hottie last night, and there’s enough meat on him to share 🤤

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“Pierre, it’s finally time to meet your father.”

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