/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

Our mortuary is struggling, we need new clients.

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No, I’m not going to kill you with thermite, that was a typo!

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I took my dog for a walk, and the neighbor asked, "Why is he drooling so much?"

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I know deep down inside, you have a beautiful heart.

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Everybody’s all pissed about those random attention whores licking ice cream tubs.

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Granpappy planted that tree almost 70 years ago but it hain’t born fruit since the good old days.

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Not much of a writer myself, just here to make a request.

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My diarrhea was so bad I groaned and said, “oh my god, just kill me now!”

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“You don’t believe me now, and you won’t until it’s too late.”

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Snuff films are so boring.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Our mortuary is struggling, we need new clients.	5
No, I’m not going to kill you with thermite, that was a typo!	5
I took my dog for a walk, and the neighbor asked, "Why is he drooling so much?"	5
I know deep down inside, you have a beautiful heart.	5
Everybody’s all pissed about those random attention whores licking ice cream tubs.	5
Granpappy planted that tree almost 70 years ago but it hain’t born fruit since the good old days.	5
Not much of a writer myself, just here to make a request.	5
My diarrhea was so bad I groaned and said, “oh my god, just kill me now!”	5
“You don’t believe me now, and you won’t until it’s too late.”	5
Snuff films are so boring.	5