/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

Under no circumstances can you allow these statistics to fall into the hands of the media.

5 upvotes

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“I’m sorry to burst your bubble.”

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I love picking up exotic foods at stores like Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods.

4 upvotes

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Once the fecal patties are adequately treated they have the same color and consistency as our baked beans anyway.

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Psa: Don’t pee during a thunderstorm!

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I was half way through my Margarita, when someone yelled “stop you’re killing her!”

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Haha you should have seen the look on my instructor’s face, he was freaking out!

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[MORPH] The beast slithered into the wrinkled bag of flesh, like a snake unshedding its skin.

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I told My humans that I’d never wash them away with a flood again.

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You are home enjoying your day off, the door bell rings.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Under no circumstances can you allow these statistics to fall into the hands of the media.	5
“I’m sorry to burst your bubble.”	5
I love picking up exotic foods at stores like Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods.	4
Once the fecal patties are adequately treated they have the same color and consistency as our baked beans anyway.	4
Psa: Don’t pee during a thunderstorm!	4
I was half way through my Margarita, when someone yelled “stop you’re killing her!”	4
Haha you should have seen the look on my instructor’s face, he was freaking out!	4
[MORPH] The beast slithered into the wrinkled bag of flesh, like a snake unshedding its skin.	4
I told My humans that I’d never wash them away with a flood again.	4
You are home enjoying your day off, the door bell rings.	4