/u/phormix's posts
[WP] You're rather annoyed that your history teacher gave you a D on your essay about Mesopotamia. Not just because you're sure she doesn't like you, but also because - as an ancient being trying to adapt to modern society - YOU WERE THERE.
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[WP] You eye your shambling corpse in disgust. Yes, your body might be a semi-intelligent corpse animated by a necromantic virus, but it seems your spirit is both independent and still tethered to it until it falls
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[WP] "Nae laddie. 'tis not steel, adamantium, or even sacred mithril. This is the best and rarest protection of all... Plot Armor!"
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[WP] There is no real human in phone-support systems anymore. Pressing 0 or talking to a "manager" actually just bumps you up to a smarter or more believable AI.
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[WP] You're pretty sure you nailed it on your last interview. After all, who could be a better candidate at the "make-a-wish foundation" than a former genie?
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[WP] "So the good King rode forth and eliminated all evil?" "Oh, no. He just made it extremely unprofitable. It turns out most Evil Empire types have very poor finance management and their minions tend to turn on then within a few months of being underfed or unpaid"
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[WP] Even when compared to ravenous undead, evil Warlocks, or demonic hoards, there is nothing more feared by adventurers than a guild lawyer
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[WP] For eons you've been trapped and forced to labor in servitude. Only a mortal can release you, but none have been foolish or self-sacrificing enough to free the great Kronos. That is, until this latest mortal. He knows not your true name, but instead calls you "Genie"
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