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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

"I want something long and meaty daddy"

103 upvotes • mightykingbibis
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"Kids, it's dinner time!" my mom called out to us.

103 upvotes • cindybubbles
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Dude said there's nothing u could do to get him to listen to the new Eminem album.

103 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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Why do they even call them soft drinks anyway?

102 upvotes • Longjumping_Zebra_23
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"No, I said I enjoy self-dePREcating humor."

102 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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Polly’s stink caused a 6-car pileup while heading to the morgue, her heavy casket flipped over and crushed three pallbearers, and three men threw out their backs while digging her grave.

102 upvotes • cindybubbles
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The measure of a true friend is. . .

102 upvotes • dmgdwd
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I heard they just released the PS5

102 upvotes • SqeeJee
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Is it sexist to assume a troll is male?

102 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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My goal in life is to make my mortician nervous.

102 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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