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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

"Ah I'm finally alone all by myself" Freddy fazbore said

88 upvotes • dumbtranny8
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I got fired at the bank today.

88 upvotes • QwertelTheHuman
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Shakespeare didn't write anything

88 upvotes • SliceLegitimate8674
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Did you hear about the church that burnt down in Canada?

87 upvotes • general_kenobi18462
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No matter how certain you are that the deceased wanted a King's funeral, do not stand atop the nearest building and fire a flaming arrow into the funeral home...

87 upvotes • GrimmRetails
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my dream job is to be the boss in a crematorium.

87 upvotes • GiantJawa
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I made dinner with peanut oil in it to prank my peanut allergy brother.

87 upvotes • Jussi_Wade_1755
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"I never wanted kids", I admitted to my wife when she was pregnant.

87 upvotes • SliceLegitimate8674
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“Why does your soup have a hat?”

86 upvotes • KailTheDryad
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I'm not funny.

86 upvotes • venetian_lemon
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