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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

"Just a gram of it can kill a million lives!"

334 upvotes • EnChanted96
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I hate when engineering students call themselves engineers.

333 upvotes • JeromeTheFerret
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I was blesed with a huge Penis. NSFW

333 upvotes • Smieles
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I think my sister has lost her mind, she's begun to eat crackers for breakfast.

333 upvotes • [deleted]
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My mother always told me that I was special and I should never look into a mirror.

332 upvotes • StickySlush
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I charged out with my mighty sword and attacked the evil dragon that had appeared outside

332 upvotes • sugar-soad
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The village was in chaos, because for this year's ceremony a virgin male was needed but none could be found.

331 upvotes • [deleted]
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I love to go to IKEA and then wander around trying to pronounce the names of the furniture

331 upvotes • sugar-soad
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Is it weird to practice kissing with my twin brother?

331 upvotes • fetusfahijta
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I used to hate humanity in general.

329 upvotes • shakeythirsty
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