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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-smoking".

285 upvotes • ClutchingMyTinkle
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My penis was in the guinness book of world records. NSFW

285 upvotes • Corona-saurusrex
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Uncle jack is stuck on his horse!

284 upvotes • StickySlush
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We hit 11,000 members

283 upvotes • CJ3510
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I once had a dog with only 3 feet.

283 upvotes • [deleted]
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Just a single gram has the power to kill a hundred men!

282 upvotes • IronMongerVi
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I put blood, sweat and tears into my job.

282 upvotes • Kiddish_Panda
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I anxiously opened the comments on my first TwoSentenceHorror submission.

281 upvotes • Scoobydude85
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The smell of maple syrup wafted through the air, people being absurdly kind to each other, and you couldn’t find a single Starbucks anywhere.

281 upvotes • Waddl3z
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My whole world turned upside down when I found my wife was cheating on me with my best friend at my goddamn bed.

279 upvotes • sgc0014
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