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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

My whole world turned upside down when I found my wife was cheating on me with my best friend at my goddamn bed.

279 upvotes • sgc0014
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Cinderella had finally managed to make it to the ball.

279 upvotes • dailydonuts16
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This morning I told life I was tired of feeling down and I didn't care how many lemons it threw at me because I knew I could make lemonade.

279 upvotes • NoNoNotLikeThatAgain
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The British anthropologist enjoyed rare tribesmen.

279 upvotes • normancrane
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I've cooked devil's lettuce into my devil's food cupcakes and I packed it all into my "Devil Wears Prada" reusable bags.

278 upvotes • cindybubbles
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I have anxiety about taking pills.

278 upvotes • [deleted]
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I was thrilled to find out my girlfriend was pregnant.

277 upvotes • Ignoring_PhD
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If she can hide a belly.

277 upvotes • lazydogg9
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“You’ve made your bed, now you’ll have to lie in it!” My wife scolded

277 upvotes • KailTheDryad
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I knew that something was wrong the second I walked into my house, and immediately tensed up and prepared for the worse

277 upvotes • sugar-soad
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