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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

The horror

16 upvotes • SpaceJamLaserGun
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I've got a great stepladder!

16 upvotes • TheRaincrow
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Her mouth salivating and her cheeks flushed, she slowly peeled back the protective sheath, careful to keep the brown, long, rigid treat inside intact.

16 upvotes • Puzzledandhungry
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I had to return my sex bot.

16 upvotes • IOughtToBeThrownAway
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What is worse than a worm in an apple?

16 upvotes • [deleted]
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I can't believe I just been kicked out of Applebee's.

16 upvotes • rprince18
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The article quoted the billionaire as saying, “To celebrate the birth of our child, we are going to hold the most exquisite gender reveal party of all time!”

16 upvotes • petyrlabenov
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I used to be a judge who specializes in religious criminal cases.

15 upvotes • Dominicmeoward
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My 13 year old son was attacked for being white and a Trump supporter.

15 upvotes • nu24601
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I thought to myself "Man, this Thursday afternoon sure is dragging on...."

15 upvotes • CKO1967
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