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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

My son stepped in a puddle of grease and it won’t come off his feet.

11 upvotes • Character-Dingo8762
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Yesterday someone broke my mood ring.

11 upvotes • bellias-smellias
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My dad was really mad when he found out who I had sex with, for the first time.

11 upvotes • Shadowislost
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My toddler loves to blow bubbles

11 upvotes • HelloMumther
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I thought the fixture was perfectly level,

11 upvotes • JGWillikers
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When the blind zombie came for us I had to stay still.

11 upvotes • CaptainFriedChicken
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I recently discovered that I have an unexpected superpower: I can enter any coffee shop and set off the hipster alarm.

11 upvotes • deletedbyredditadmin
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Poisoning children is easy.

11 upvotes • [deleted]
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I work in the anti-porn industry.

11 upvotes • 86-Everything
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“You will be alright, buddy, you will be alright soon, hold on”

11 upvotes • PassionCertain8405
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