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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I know this is the wrong sub Reddit but my Pokémon will not spawn in Pokémon legends arcues.

10 upvotes • dracodragonite666
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I freaked out when I heard my boyfriend yell “Today’s the day I finish you once and for all!”

10 upvotes • KailTheDryad
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"I promise I'm not cheating on you with another woman," I assured my wife, pulling her into a tight hug.

10 upvotes • dailydonuts16
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I fucked up a crumble.

10 upvotes • SamMarduk
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We’re out in the woods alone and the stakes are high

10 upvotes • hope-this-anit-taken
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Went on a really hot date last night

10 upvotes • maccer20
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I stubbed my toe so badly last night.

10 upvotes • tdog97
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For months no matter how little and how healthy he ate, he just kept putting on weight.

10 upvotes • undividual
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"I thought I told you to get the fuck outta here!" yelled the shop owner to me.

10 upvotes • cindybubbles
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People always tells me "you're a soldier and alcohol is your enemy!"

10 upvotes • Roboticfreeze
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