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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

It was a dark night but all was well untill I opened all of my pantry doors to see many strange face staring back at me.

10 upvotes • Boosucker0
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I lost my aunt in a fire

10 upvotes • Tramelo
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I am not a virgin.

10 upvotes • wondererSkull
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When you forget you turned the brightness all the way down.

10 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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Got put in Facebook jail, and I just don't get it.

10 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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What she said, " I have resting bitch face."

10 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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ladies and gentlemen, Elvis' soul has left the stalls

10 upvotes • adolphinPewtin
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“Come on Dave it’s getting late so let’s hit the sack!”

10 upvotes • IOughtToBeThrownAway
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I sent my daughter over to her father’s house with a surprise chocolate cake that she helped me to make.

10 upvotes • cindybubbles
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I came home to find a five gallon bucket of grease on my living room table and I yelled to my partner - “what’s that for”?

10 upvotes • Character-Dingo8762
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