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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

You cannot equate handling a baby with handling a football.

10 upvotes • [deleted]
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It took me a bit to get ready, but I finally came out the closet!

10 upvotes • Thephillips2019
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I looked around to see if there was anyone around me before taking a dump on the street

10 upvotes • Passionate_Writing_
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The path ahead of me led to untold wealth, power, knowledge, and prestige.

10 upvotes • Antimony9292
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I’ll forgive my ex-husband for the adultery and subsequent divorce.

10 upvotes • cindybubbles
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Terrifying

10 upvotes • --I_Am_Fabulous_--
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Everybody, out of the water- there's a shark!

10 upvotes • IronMongerVi
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The drug dealer of our school, who happens to be our mathematics teacher approached me in a frightening figure

10 upvotes • [deleted]
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My son told me there was a monster in his closet.

10 upvotes • RandomCedricplayz
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When I got my new robot butler, I learned quickly to watch what I say because he interprets everything as a literal command. NSFW

10 upvotes • cindybubbles
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