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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

Of course I am fit, I workout every other day!

8 upvotes • Tramelo
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he asked the genie how he would die.

8 upvotes • nahmanwth
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[deleted by user]

8 upvotes • [deleted]
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so i got on 1 knee and gently asked her

8 upvotes • ilyaEris
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I wanted them to eat their words..

8 upvotes • Ari-The-Demon
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What's a student murderer's biggest fear?

8 upvotes • thealiagator111
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When I saw my best friend together with my wife, I treated them both to ham sandwiches on rye.

8 upvotes • cindybubbles
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My chest tightened so much that I thought that I was going to die from a heart attack.

8 upvotes • cindybubbles
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Everyone wondered how he could always slide right into the room. It was because he had such greasy hair that dripped down his legs and drenched his feet.

8 upvotes • Character-Dingo8762
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I finally convinced my mom to buy me a brand new luxury car!

8 upvotes • Whocaresdamit
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