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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I had a really bad breakup with my girlfriend a couple months ago, and I’m still recovering emotionally.

8 upvotes • Youtuatoot
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'By the power vested in me by the almighty I now pronounce you man and goat.'

7 upvotes • [deleted]
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I frantically searched through the cupboards and drawers and cabinets, all while my nausea was intensifying and my gag reflex was in overdrive.

7 upvotes • Azurephoenix99
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My Iranian friend gave me a watch a few minutes ago.

7 upvotes • Blaz9
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There was actually an eighth dwarf named shitty

7 upvotes • ThatOnePickleLord
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A terrorist entered a science fair.

7 upvotes • Ancient_Fall
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These hippy motherfuckers stole the amethyst i put on my fiance's wedding ring.

7 upvotes • Standard_Albatross51
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It's been over six months since I quit smoking.

7 upvotes • makejokesandchewgum
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I practiced some new karate moves last night.

7 upvotes • cephalicrush
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I walked into the house to grab my keys

7 upvotes • Rusty-Jaguar
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