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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I consulted the Necronomicon for my lifeless husband

7 upvotes • Calm_History3152
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A robber is the name given to a land thief, so what is the name given to a sea thief?

7 upvotes • Embarrassingleader7
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It took years to get into this shape but now I have the body of an Athlete

7 upvotes • [deleted]
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03:00AM If it works, I'll be rich and famous by time-traveling 1 hour back in time.

7 upvotes • FM596
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I listened to About a Girl.

7 upvotes • BobTheBlob78910
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[OCT2020] Funerals are great because you get to see the best and the worst of humanity at the same time.

7 upvotes • cindybubbles
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Accidentally opened NSFW at work by reflex! NSFW

7 upvotes • wondererSkull
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my son woke me up saying there was a monster in his closet

7 upvotes • my_life_is_suffering
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The boy sighed with his companion as the timeline resets again.

7 upvotes • Otherwise_Notice6421
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What is the favourite movie of a Pokémon Nuzlocker?

7 upvotes • PassionCertain8405
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