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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

she said she missed me

3 upvotes • DifferenceDifferent9
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Two peanuts were walking down the road.

3 upvotes • CactusBoiScams
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Have you ever noticed all these white people who complain about how dangerous it is to walk through the hood?

3 upvotes • Ancient_Fall
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This year for Halloween, my kid insisted on dressing as a Twilight vampire, but he didn't want to be just any vampire.

3 upvotes • Embarrassingleader7
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There once was a man from Nantucket.

3 upvotes • Apprehensive_Cap_786
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my lactose intolerant friend really enjoys using my humidifier

3 upvotes • CyrusIsDemonic
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The sky is shrouded in opaque darkness and bonfires are a blazing.

3 upvotes • Sweet_Neighborhood10
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This morning, 8:16 a.m., 6 lbs 3 ounces.

3 upvotes • SliceLegitimate8674
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I needed some salt and a 9-volt battery so I went to the supermarket.

3 upvotes • cindybubbles
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this is why they don't allow confessing sins to nuns

3 upvotes • ilyaEris
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