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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

Two goldfish are in a tank.

476 upvotes • abskkr24
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Smart people are rarely happy, and happy people are rarely smart.

476 upvotes • makejokesandchewgum
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I hate my English teacher.

475 upvotes • normancrane
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As the gas slowly encompassed us, I only had one thought in my mind:

471 upvotes • cindybubbles
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"After gathering 'em, we stripped them, divided them into groups and subjected them to radiation until... they burst," the witness confessed.

471 upvotes • normancrane
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They say everyone has their fifteen minutes of fame.

470 upvotes • Fb_was_my_idea
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"You cannot stop me from going wherever I want mama!" my spoilt son shouted at me as he climbed over the fence.

467 upvotes • LunaRose320412
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I had died and there I stood at the golden gates of Heaven

464 upvotes • ThatOneSubscriber
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My wife left me for a guy in a hybrid

464 upvotes • mr_mike-2004
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I used to date a cross-eyed girl.

461 upvotes • HybridPumpkin
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