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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I scoffed at their name-calling for it caused me no harm.

509 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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Yes, of course I’ve heard the adage “If you love someone, let them go.”

508 upvotes • DanielRJonesWriter
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I can never do anything right

507 upvotes • It_is_not_that_hard
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My wife was furious when she walked in on me beating our daughter

505 upvotes • sugar-soad
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The say that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.

500 upvotes • [deleted]
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My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.

498 upvotes • ClutchingMyTinkle
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With a sigh of relief I finally finished the exhausting ordeal.

496 upvotes • Er1ci234
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Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of fizzy drink

490 upvotes • StickySlush
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I am sick and tired of this stupid stereotype that us Irish people are all raging alcoholics

486 upvotes • sugar-soad
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Smart people are rarely happy, and happy people are rarely smart.

476 upvotes • makejokesandchewgum
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