/u/Epictauk's posts
[WP] You are a vampire. One night, you find a mumbling, isolated man in an alleyway, and you feed on him almost to the death. But something isn't right - you are losing your balance, unable to focus, and are now being placed in handcuffs. Turns out, his blood alcohol content was 0.33%.
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[WP] There is a divide between the predator and prey races of the galaxy. It is understood all predators are carnivorous and all prey are herbivorous. Humans (persistence predators) show up and troll everyone by eating their veggies.
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[WP] At first, Sisyphus rolled the boulder up the hill. Then, he carried it up the hill. Then he carried the hill around, and when that got too easy, he started lifting mountains. Apollo has been sent by Zeus to investigate, but Sisyphus is now so strong that he knocks him on his ass with one blow.
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[WP] Whenever a species goes extinct, all of the members of that species that ever existed conglomerates into a single entity and spends eternity in a paradise of recreation and drink. Everyone laughs their heads off as Humanity finally walks in himself, mushroom clouds still bursting behind him.
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[WP] Humanity's grim contribution to the Allied Universe's war effort against an extradimensional threat is recorded in an alien novelist's work. Humanity is best known for its propensity and tendency towards mass death.
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[WP] You are so good at this online game that your friends joke that you are actually a superintelligent AI. You curse between your processor cycles. How did they find you out?!
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[WP] Aliens are advanced, but have no experience in war. They are astonished at the sight of Humanity's highly developed tactics, and grim, fatalistic disposition in combat.
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[WP] Humanity's tale is already played out. We are now stagnant, isolationist godlike eldritch beings that everyone else is terrified of, but we do not interfere. We merely grant advice.
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