/u/HarambeCantMeltSteel's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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I saw my former student, he said, "Hello" to me, I walked on, he turned to stab me, I felt his knife go into my chest, I said, "Don't you know that you can't just make multiple sentences fit the rule of a subreddit just by adding commas, this leads to run-on sentences, have I taught you nothing?"

3877 upvotes

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"Yeah, but my boss is too much of a dumbass to see that this would never work," Carol replied...

1111 upvotes

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"I can't believe I'm going to be a father!" I tearfully exclaimed as my wife emerged from the bathroom with the pregnancy test in hand.

990 upvotes

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Your time machine is a success, sending you back 100 years to your exact same location.

526 upvotes

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"Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."

517 upvotes

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So I'm, like, just minding my own business as an iceberg, doin' normal iceberg things

419 upvotes

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I woke up in the darkness, gagged, to the warmth of his breath and the feel of his fingers running through my hair.

344 upvotes

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Gripping a loose patch of skin by the fingernails, the teenager peeled the monster's face up and slowly over his head.

214 upvotes

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My neighbor's dog is so expressive when he barks.

197 upvotes

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"I'm here to see Dr. Williams, the surgeon who operated on me yesterday."

141 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I saw my former student, he said, "Hello" to me, I walked on, he turned to stab me, I felt his knife go into my chest, I said, "Don't you know that you can't just make multiple sentences fit the rule of a subreddit just by adding commas, this leads to run-on sentences, have I taught you nothing?"	3877
"Yeah, but my boss is too much of a dumbass to see that this would never work," Carol replied...	1111
"I can't believe I'm going to be a father!" I tearfully exclaimed as my wife emerged from the bathroom with the pregnancy test in hand.	990
Your time machine is a success, sending you back 100 years to your exact same location.	526
"Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."	517
So I'm, like, just minding my own business as an iceberg, doin' normal iceberg things	419
I woke up in the darkness, gagged, to the warmth of his breath and the feel of his fingers running through my hair.	344
Gripping a loose patch of skin by the fingernails, the teenager peeled the monster's face up and slowly over his head.	214
My neighbor's dog is so expressive when he barks.	197
"I'm here to see Dr. Williams, the surgeon who operated on me yesterday."	141