/u/IOughtToBeThrownAway's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

The child thought he was only pretending.

1079 upvotes

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Writers of reddit, here’s a writing contest with a one-of-a-kind prize for first place!!!

974 upvotes

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[AUG21] The older boy looked at the mess his stupid, annoying little brother had made, and pretended to panic.

949 upvotes

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[AUG21] I have no sympathy for any parent who complains about their baby crying at night.

889 upvotes

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The mods on this sub are the best on reddit— they’re helpful, they’re fair, and they’re honest!

877 upvotes

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When he broke in, the first thing he heard was a baby crying weakly upstairs and the first thing he saw was a woman dead on the couch with an empty pill bottle in her hand.

849 upvotes

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She said, "I've always wanted to try wood carving!"

696 upvotes

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His lungs burned for air, but he was vomiting too violently to draw a single breath.

682 upvotes

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I expected my daughter to wake me up at the crack of dawn screaming about Christmas presents.

664 upvotes

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I know he cheated, so I replaced our lube with sulfuric acid.

599 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The child thought he was only pretending.	1079
Writers of reddit, here’s a writing contest with a one-of-a-kind prize for first place!!!	974
[AUG21] The older boy looked at the mess his stupid, annoying little brother had made, and pretended to panic.	949
[AUG21] I have no sympathy for any parent who complains about their baby crying at night.	889
The mods on this sub are the best on reddit— they’re helpful, they’re fair, and they’re honest!	877
When he broke in, the first thing he heard was a baby crying weakly upstairs and the first thing he saw was a woman dead on the couch with an empty pill bottle in her hand.	849
She said, "I've always wanted to try wood carving!"	696
His lungs burned for air, but he was vomiting too violently to draw a single breath.	682
I expected my daughter to wake me up at the crack of dawn screaming about Christmas presents.	664
I know he cheated, so I replaced our lube with sulfuric acid.	599