WritingPrompts

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[WP] These immigrant leprechauns - well, they ain't rich. Y'all ain't gonna trick 'em out of any pots of gold, 'cause they don't have any. What they do have is some absolutely golden pot. They grow the smoothest mellowest bud anywhere. They'll swap you a bag for a jug of moonshine if you want.	29
[WP] The only possible outcome in a universe where time travel has been invented is that people changing the past change it in such a way that time travel was never invented. No other version of the timeline is stable. Therefore time travel is logically impossible.	28
[WP] The sword in the stone stood awaiting a worthy hand for a hundred years. And in all this time no one ever thought of pulling it out AFTER breaking the stone open with a sledgehammer. Your new ruler is very pragmatic.	27
[WP] My compact with the guys who summoned me says I can't go back to Hell 'til you're dead. Joke's on them. Best Damn thing about Hell is staying the Hell out, amirite? So stop screaming, get up, and clean out your pants. I'm your new best friend whether you want one or not.	27
[WP] At the top of the hill a huge lightning bolt hit him. It burned off half his hair, scorched his coat, blew a boot off, and threw him twenty feet. He got up, dazed, and hunted around for his boot. Then raised both his middle fingers, yelled "you bastard!" at the sky and started walking again.	25
[WP] You've been snapping photos of the trick-or-treaters all evening. But one of the photos just has your front yard. That was after the witch and before the kid dressed as batman. If you remember right, that photo that ought to have had a vampire and a ghost. Unless those weren't costumes.	23
[WP] Earth was discovered by a crime syndicate centuries ago. So humans have been abducted and trafficked, and we had the sex tourists with anal probes, and pranksters doing stunts, etc. ever since. But last year we were officially discovered. By their government. Diplomacy will be awkward.	22
[WP] They say we saved the world. We know better. We want to, sure, and we're doing our best, but the world won't stay saved. Another few years, another screaming maniac, another stupid plot, and somebody's going to have to save it again. And again. And again. Sooner or later it won't work.	22
[WP] Did you ever consider why God wants us to keep our souls pure? What if it's the same reason we want to keep our own livestock healthy and uncontaminated? What if God saves but it's only because He knows He'll get hungry later?	21
[WP] I'm haunted by the goats in the machine.	19

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