/u/cryptomelons's posts
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I wish that I don't end up on The Maury Show because an elephant thought I was one of ten men who might have impregnated her
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I wish women in video games didn't look like manly feminists I wouldn't even fuck in real life even if they were begging for my cock naked
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I wish I could catch little critters by throwing my testicles around with my whip-like ballsack like in Pokémon
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I wish used panties flew to my head like hungry seagulls zeroing in on a McDonald's meal left unattended
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