/u/derf_vader's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

[MAR23] "Please help, I've been bitten!" I screamed at the 9-1-1 dispatcher as I felt the hot snake venom slithering through my veins.

493 upvotes

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My son's daycare uses a secure fingerprint reader for checking children in and out of the facility and tracking who it is.

473 upvotes

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I knew I had proof we were living in a broken simulation when I rolled snake eyes on the dice for the two-hundredth time in a row.

464 upvotes

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"Light this candle next to your wife's deathbed," the old gypsy woman had told me, "and she will return to life for you for as long as it stays lit."

403 upvotes

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[JAN21] The year was 1821... and the cotton fields were screaming.

371 upvotes

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As I dried myself off in front of the bathroom mirror after my morning shower I winced at seeing what I had become.

347 upvotes

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Congratulations, you have been upgraded to Earth two point zero two one three.

340 upvotes

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There was a piece of chalk left by the blackboard in the abandoned schoolhouse we were exploring, so I jokingly wrote "Get Out!" for the next people who come along to find.

314 upvotes

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While waiting at baggage claim at the airport I saw a large chest come down the conveyor.

281 upvotes

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Once when my daughter was a two year old, she looked me dead in the eye and said "Daddy, you're going to be killed by zombies."

278 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
[MAR23] "Please help, I've been bitten!" I screamed at the 9-1-1 dispatcher as I felt the hot snake venom slithering through my veins.	493
My son's daycare uses a secure fingerprint reader for checking children in and out of the facility and tracking who it is.	473
I knew I had proof we were living in a broken simulation when I rolled snake eyes on the dice for the two-hundredth time in a row.	464
"Light this candle next to your wife's deathbed," the old gypsy woman had told me, "and she will return to life for you for as long as it stays lit."	403
[JAN21] The year was 1821... and the cotton fields were screaming.	371
As I dried myself off in front of the bathroom mirror after my morning shower I winced at seeing what I had become.	347
Congratulations, you have been upgraded to Earth two point zero two one three.	340
There was a piece of chalk left by the blackboard in the abandoned schoolhouse we were exploring, so I jokingly wrote "Get Out!" for the next people who come along to find.	314
While waiting at baggage claim at the airport I saw a large chest come down the conveyor.	281
Once when my daughter was a two year old, she looked me dead in the eye and said "Daddy, you're going to be killed by zombies."	278