/u/derf_vader's posts
As I carefully cut the avocado the same as I have hundreds of times before, my knife slipped through where the nut should have been and sliced deep into the palm of my hand.
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After waiting over an hour in the clinic's lobby for my wife to finish her appointment, I decided to ask the girl at the desk how much longer it would be.
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[WP]You've rubbed the magic lamp and to your absolute astonishment a Leprechaun has popped out. After his typical spiel about granting three wishes you have only one thing on your mind. "I wish you would tell me how you ended up in a Genie's lamp."
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"W-w-what is stopping you from just w-w-wiping out all of humanity," I stuttered as asked my surprisingly candid Alien visitor.
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