/u/derf_vader's posts

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I followed all the rituals, the pentagram, the bell book and candle, the chanting exactly as proscribed.

87 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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As I opened the one hundred year old time capsule from under city hall, I was stunned to see a single envelope addressed to me in my own handwriting.

86 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"We here at Polish Mike's Sausage Company take employee concerns and complaints about health, safety and wages very seriously, and in fact we have an open door policy," Linda, the HHR rep assured me.

86 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"We should call this new arachnid species 'Marionette Spiders,'" my colleague, Dr. Ferris declared.

80 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"Turn right in one hundred feet."

78 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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My husband opened his mouth to scream but all that came out were spiders.

76 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"The floor is lava, Daddy!"

75 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"I will be waiting for you in the forest," my brother's note read.

74 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"Daddy, why are all them men up in the tree staring at me?"

74 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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"Wow, Jake, where did you get these awesome vegan burgers?" I asked as I swallowed another large bite.

72 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Title	Upvotes	Subreddit	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I followed all the rituals, the pentagram, the bell book and candle, the chanting exactly as proscribed.	87	TwoSentenceHorror
As I opened the one hundred year old time capsule from under city hall, I was stunned to see a single envelope addressed to me in my own handwriting.	86	TwoSentenceHorror
"We here at Polish Mike's Sausage Company take employee concerns and complaints about health, safety and wages very seriously, and in fact we have an open door policy," Linda, the HHR rep assured me.	86	TwoSentenceHorror
"We should call this new arachnid species 'Marionette Spiders,'" my colleague, Dr. Ferris declared.	80	TwoSentenceHorror
"Turn right in one hundred feet."	78	TwoSentenceHorror
My husband opened his mouth to scream but all that came out were spiders.	76	TwoSentenceHorror
"The floor is lava, Daddy!"	75	TwoSentenceHorror
"I will be waiting for you in the forest," my brother's note read.	74	TwoSentenceHorror
"Daddy, why are all them men up in the tree staring at me?"	74	TwoSentenceHorror
"Wow, Jake, where did you get these awesome vegan burgers?" I asked as I swallowed another large bite.	72	TwoSentenceHorror