/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] You arrive at work to find someone parked in your parking spot. They leave before you are able to identify them, so you spend the next 12 years of your life tracking them down and extracting your vengeance.
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[WP] “So how did you end up here in the afterlife?” “I was in a traffic accident. You?” “You know that warning about putting IKEA together incorrectly? I ignored it.”
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[WP] Due to an old mistranslation, banished demons don’t end up in Hell, they end up in Texas. After another demon shows up in Abilene, the sheriff decides enough is enough, and makes a call to Chuck Norris.
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[WP] Stoker was almost right—vampires can only be killed by steak. You have been accepted into an elite vampire hunter school, and today is your first lesson: how to prepare a filet mignon for battle.
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[WP] Unable to keep up with the Jones’, you make it your life’s work to destroy every one. It’s going well until you make the mistake of going after James Earl Jones.
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[WP] No human has free will. Instead, their actions are driven by thoughts placed in their mind by the goddess Clotho, who controls humans according to fate. That is, until you buy a few dice and decide to live life a little more randomly.
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[WP] Beaten, down, at the lowest point of your life, you look slowly around the empty restroom and notice a sign: “FOR A GOOD TIME CALL JAKE 555-555-1024”. You pause, then reach toward your pocket for your phone.
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[WP] You are the newest reporter for the Magicians’ Weekly, so it was a little strange when you got given a high profile interview with a talking unicorn as your first story. Five minutes into the interview, you realise why—he’s actually a bit of a dick.
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[WP] In the future, an AIs personality is based on the material that it was trained on. You accidentally let your robot butler read some Dan Brown novels when it was young, and now it’s convinced that you’re the head of a secret society.
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