/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] Before invading Earth, the aliens developed tactics to counter our most dominant species. But when they arrived, they found bacteria weren’t really the threat they were expecting.
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[WP] While in the grocery store, you accidentally bump your shopping cart into a little old lady’s shopping cart. Somewhere a bell rings, and a sign appears in the air between you that says “PvP MODE ACTIVATED.” The little old lady looks at you and narrows her eyes.
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[WP] No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to connect with your step daughter. She’s jealous of her sisters and won’t help around the house. Now she’s being dramatic after eating an apple and has sent a charming but simple prince around to “teach you a lesson.”
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[WP] You are a lawyer working for Gaia, the goddess of nature, and your job is to prosecute those who break the natural laws. Today’s case is pretty tough—a Mr Stephen Hawking is being charged for three counts of breaking the laws of thermodynamics.
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[WP] “Professor, why do people always ask ‘who is that Pokémon’ but nobody ever asks ‘how is that Pokémon’?” Professor Oak looks at the child kindly. “Well Billy, it all started with what we call the ‘Mr Mime Incident’…”.
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[WP] A dramatic author describes a suspect to a police sketch artist with a short attention span. “It was a dark and stormy night…” The police put out an APB on Batman.
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[WP] As if the guests at the party didn’t have strange enough names—I mean, who calls their kid Professor Plum or Miss Scarlett anyway?—but now you’ve found an odd letter inviting you for drinks in the conservatory at midnight.
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[WP] “But I don’t understand why we’re waiting!” Complained the villain. “I could end this world right now! What is the Hero even doing?” The henchman checks a list. “Looks like they’re still doing side quests Sir. Oh, and levelling up a little.”
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[WP] “This is crazy!” Said the God. “People make offerings to me and I keep them safe!” “That’s what I’m saying,” said the police officer, nodding. “You’re under arrest for running a protection racket.”
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